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Bill King: Never, ever, ask, “What else can go wrong?”

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Bill King: Never, ever, ask, “What else can go wrong?”

Bill King

Any and every guitar player who has played for any length of time has wondered, “Exactly how does my guitar pick find its way through the sound hole and end up inside my guitar?”

Yes, that is a minor aggravation, but at that moment it can be quite annoying. I’m always amazed at how easily it slips in, yet how difficult it can be to get it back out.

One would assume that you simply turn the guitar upside down, tilt the guitar to one side, and the pick will slide across the hole and fall back out. The problem is that guitars have braces inside, and they hinder the errant pick from finding its way home. Just hang on, and before you get too frustrated, just take a deep breath. It’s not the end of the world, and if it makes you feel better, things can get worse.

I had known for some time we were getting near the end. Things just weren’t working like they used to. We had been together for 13 years and had always gotten along well, but suddenly things started heating up.

In the middle of the summer, way down in the sunny, humid South, that’s never good. Wait! What do you think I’m talking about? My A/C unit, I talking about my central heat and air. For the past couple of summers, my A/C repairman has been to my house more than most of my kin folks. He’s hooked up an IV to my unit, and added Freon numerous times.

When I heard that grinding noise that sounded like an automatic transmission that refused to transmit, I feared the worse. When I went upstairs and was reminded of reading Dante’s “Inferno,” I felt for my wallet. It already seemed somewhat flatter.

We have been doing a major renovation of our master bathroom. I’m doing most of the work myself, you know, to save a few bucks. Honestly, I really do enjoy doing that kind of work.

After my A/C repairman pronounced my unit DOA, I decided to return to my renovation work to take my mind off things. It worked. When I accidently nicked the copper pipe that supplied water to one of the bathroom sinks, I was not thinking about my deceased A/C unit whatsoever!

Suddenly, I remembered visiting Niagara Falls a few years ago. Isn’t it amazing how much water a little nick in a pressurized water line can spray? I sprinted through the house like an Olympic runner with his hair on fire. Good thing water puts out fire!

I knew exactly where my water cutoff was located. What I didn’t know was how to get the stuck lid opened. Thank the Lord for a good neighbor who can calmly open the lid, and turn off the valve, while my house floats down the street! Well, at least I was doing renovations in there anyway. By the way, is wet sheetrock still called drywall?

At the end of the day, an imprisoned guitar pick indeed turned out to be a laughing matter.

Bill King is a minister, author, singer/songwriter, and performs humor as Bro. Billy Bob Bohannon (www.brobillybob.com). Contact him at bkpreach@yahoo.com.

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